Friday, August 28, 2009

Dear Granna,

I admit, I am a horrible, horrible person for not writing sooner. Things have just been... well, they were complicated, out of control, painful, frustrating... I thought that I would never dig myself out of the hole that I had dug for myself...

And then things just started to work out. I found a good job that I am very happy with. I am finding the strength in myself to know when it is time to walk away. When it is time to accept the fact that some things don't change, so we have to live with them and find other things that make us happy.

This year has been a whirlwind of emotion and chance, loss, love, change, laughter, tears, everything... It's not even over yet, but I am thankful for all of the trials I have been through, because it has made me a stronger person. My heart no longer cramps up in my chest when I think about the things that could have been, my stomach doesn't churn when the telephone is quiet for days, I have learned that I need to get out there and find what makes me happy. Find what I deserve. It is going to be a perilous path with more heartbreak, but in the end, wont it be worth it?

I am trying to be a better person. Someone who does good things for others, but doesn't lose herself in the process. I'm going to be strong. I'm going to make it. The path is a little precarious, but in life...when is it not?

I'm writing again. I'm living again. I'm laughing again. And it is okay. I hope I can continue on this upward climb, I missed being happy. I missed being me.

It is about time I found her again.

Kim