Thursday, September 17, 2009

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Dear Granna,

Time moves quickly when you're staying busy. With work and school and getting out there trying to find myself, it gives me little time to sit down and write. I am sure you are happy about that.

Learning to love myself is quite a journey, I keep falling into old routines and patterns and trying to break them. I guess sometimes it is easier to just go with what you know, instead of venture out into the unknown. But if what you know just leads to heartache, when does enough become enough?

I'm trying to change things, I really am. I want a future. I want someone who wants a future with me. I see Jen and her lfe and I get so jealous because that is the life I should have had. I thought I had done everything right up until a couple years ago when it all fell apart, and I haven't been able to pick up the pieces since then. It seems like that family, that love, that future will never be mine... But I keep on trying. Everyone says it will happen, but why do I have this sinking suspicion that my time will be up before I have a chance to experience it all?

I guess all we can do is keep on living, right? Hope for the best? Sometimes that's all we have.

Kim

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