Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Dear Granna,

As the holidays loom near, I find myself reflecting a lot on the year that has passed. It has been filled with love, loss, life, change, growth... A very, very important year for me. I have discovered who I am, what I want, how I am going to do it, and started out on the path that I believe I am supposed to take. It is going to be a long, hard road, but I think if we don't challenge ourselves, we nevery really know what we can be capable of.

And then there is Kyle. In the past month we have spent more time together than all the time we were dating. We have grown close emotionally and shared things with each other than both of us admit we have never shared with anyone else. We have become open and caring with one another and developed a strong friendship bond, and I find myself fighting the feelings of passionate love for him. I can love him dearly like a friend, but anything beyond that is only going to cause me hurt. It is so sad to want something so bad, want it more than anything, and to know that you will not have it. In the deepest part of my heart I will always wonder about what-ifs... but, if we hold on to those...then we will miss the true opportunities that pass us by. I can't be blinded. I have to stay focused on my path, it is just hard when you want someone to walk beside you, and the person you choose...doesn't feel the same. I guess that is part of life.

I'm doing my best. I think this coming year is going to be a deciding year in my life. What law school I get into, where I am going to end up, who I am going to take with me. It will be amazing. It is frightening, but I am ready for change.

Kim