Monday, July 7, 2008

Dear Granna,

I suppose the wound has had enough time to start healing over now. I am not hurting as much as I was, and I even had the strength to send Kyle a "Goodbye" letter.



Kyle,

I guess this is it... I had hoped we could at least remain friends through all of this because of our wonderful ability to get along well and have fun together... but maybe it would just be too hard on you and I. I really don't get the "disappear" mentality, when I don't really hold any ill feelings towards you for being honest with yourself. But if it is something you have to do, then I will support it.

For what it is worth, I really did enjoy my time with you and have fun. Maybe I made some hasty decisions but I really don't regret it at all. I can go out there and have fun and try new things and not be afraid of having a little adventure here and there. I'll look back on our countless nights of movies and videogames and smile as you suffered through my horrible films and air hockey abilities.

This will be the last time I will contact you unless you contact me first. If you ever are ready or feel comfortable enough to at least be friends with me, feel free to give me a call or send me an e-mail.

I hope you find what you are looking for, Kyle. You deserve every ounce of happiness that you hope for...Don't be afraid to let people in, sometimes you get hurt, but that is life. Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

Take care of yourself and don't change for anyone. You are an amazing person, and the right woman is out there for you...and she'll know exactly what I mean.

Thank you, again, Kyle. For everything.

Kim


I suppose this is how I deal with pain. I put it down in words and try to remember the positive, instead of telling him how really hurt I was. How he is a stupid man for throwing me away because I am amazing, and maybe someday he'll look back and see how it was a huge mistake. It's those horrible thoughts that will help me get through this, instead or remembering how we had so much fun and for a brief period I felt love for someone again. I felt like I had a future. If I can feel it with him, I can feel it again. So it gives me hope.

I'm an amazing woman. I deserve to be loved and treated right. I deserve a man who isn't going to be afraid to be in a relationship with me and will give me all the attention and respect I deserve. He is out there somewhere. It may take me years to find it, but I am not going to find him by just sitting around feeling sorry for myself because the wrong guy broke my heart.

So I am getting out there again. I am going to hold my head up high. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.

Kim