Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Dear Granna,

As I sit here staring at my computer I almost can't find the words to say what I feel right now. It is...odd...because I have never had a lack of words, before.

Another wonderful evening last night with Kyle. We went to dinner, to the movies, to Dave-n-Busters and then back to my place. But something happened. We didn't have sex, and he still stayed the night. And as I lay there in bed with his arms wrapped around me, listening to his steady breathing (then his decent into heavy snoring!) I realized that it really feels like Kyle is falling for me. He is just too scared to admit it to me or himself.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm so wrapped up in the idea of all of this working out that my reading of him is completely off...but that is what my gut is telling me. Given enough patience and time, he is going to feel like it is safe to admit that he does feel the same way I do. That this isn't just a fling, that there is something more between us and it has long term, perhaps even forever, potential. I don't want to admit it to myself yet, because if I hope for this, and it doesn't happen, you know me, I'll be destroyed.

So, for now, I enjoy his company, but what I feel from him isn't just fling. Hopefully I'm not reading him wrong.

Kim