Thursday, June 5, 2008

Dear Granna,

This is what I sent to Kyle this morning to recap out "talk" last night:

What Was Established:

Kim: Wants the opportunity to begin exclusively dating with hope that it may someday turn into a potential relationship, however, would remain content with just being “exclusive” for an unset period of time. Regardless, Kim is content just being with Kyle.

Kyle: Is not entirely sure what he wants but is leaning towards keeping it “casual” because he is uncomfortable with the idea of losing himself to another relationship.

Outcome: Both have agreed to continue seeing each other and revisit the above mentioned issues in an unset period of time.


What Was Not Established:

While Kim did confess that she is developing strong feelings for Kyle, whether or not Kyle is even having any romantic feelings at all is still up in the air.

Time limit for follow up meeting (two to three months?).


For Next Meeting:

Whether or not both are going to let fear dictate their decisions, instead of just taking the plunge and seeing what happens. Ultimately, what do they have to lose?

Chalk it up as a summer fling or continue on and see what develops?


Follow up meeting in two to three months.



Obviously this was not the outcome I wanted, but what should I have expected? We have only known each other briefly, so it really is too soon to be thinking about a committed relationship. However, my cards are on the table now. One can only hope that he can see how amazing I am and start to learn towards wanting to have a relationship with me, but at this point I'm not holding my breath. My heart is aching, but I have not cried because he is not worth my tears. I'm going to continue to go out and see other people and if Mr. Right comes along, Kyle will have just been a stepping stone and I can move on and find what I want.

At the same time though, because I can't have him, I want to fight for him. Play by his rules. Make him come around. But you can't make people love you. That is just not how it works. So I'm being careful now. My heart is mine. He wont get it unless he works for it.

This is all still a learning experience for me. I'm out "playing the field" as it were, since I have never done this before I am not entirely sure how it is supposed to go. So we'll see. I'm calling upon your strength right now and keeping my shoulders back and my head high. If he doesn't want me, he is an idiot.

Kim