Monday, June 2, 2008

Dear Granna,

I still haven't seen him, though we did talk on the phone for a little bit yesterday. He had forgotten his phone over the weekend so I wasn't able to keep in touch with him, so when I heard from him on Sunday you can imagine my frustration. I also was with Jen and Ryan at the time so I made our call brief and went back to doing what I was doing. Later in the evening I called him and he eventually called me back and we filled each other in on our weekends. I am not entirely sure how our conversation got to my family vacation, but I sarcastically asked him if he thought he was going, and he admitted that he would like to because he was invited. Conveniently the trip lines up with the weekend he has to be at a wedding, but I'm not entirely sure I'm going to go on the trip because of work and money issues. But, it was interesting.

I then brought up the point that I hated feeling like I was wasting my time and I needed some reassurance that he wasn't going anywhere. He laughed and told me I worried too much. We talked about my birthday and whatnot and I, cynically this time, asked him if he was planning on staying around that long. He said he was. And I told him that was a relief because I would like him to, but at the same time, it doesn't give me anymore information than I had before. I still have no idea how he feels about me, whether or not we're going to be dating exclusively from now on, what the long term plan is...he just tells me to relax and not worry so much.

I hate to break it to him, but I'm a planner. I like to plan things out and know what I'm diving into. He's just a shoot from the hip kind of guy. It is amazing we get along so well when we are two very different people in that respect. Regardless, we made a date for Friday, though I confessed I would like to see him before then...I don't know if I will get the chance. Going to see my father tomorrow and going to a baseball game, Wednesday I'm available but he says he is busy, Thursday I have Kung Fu, and there we would be on Friday. I guess I just need to feign apathy like he does, it seems to be working for him.

I wish he would tell me what he was thinking over the phone, but he insists on waiting until we see each other in person. I hope it is not what I am dreading. I hope that he looks me in the face and tells me he is falling for me, instead of looking me in the face and telling me we're not going anywhere. It is so confusing. I've never done this patient dating thing. I just need strength and patience right now to make it through this week.

Kim